There be Dragons…

Here is a complete list of everything I know about Game of Thrones; the books were written by George R. Martin, who has a wonderful beard. The show airs on HBO. The internet likes to debate about if the show has too much nudity. Lots of people die. There are dragons.

While I do enjoy wonderful beards, I really enjoy dragons. Most things can be improved with the addition of dragons. The show Portlindia has a sketch featuring a couple who come in to a shop and starting putting birds on things- thinking it increases the whimsy and makes everything more adorable- that is until they are faced with a literal bird, who is kind of wild and wrecks the store.

That’s how I feel about dragons. Dragons can improve just about anything. As long as I don’t actually have to deal with them.

And just to clarify: I know that dragons are fictional.

So what I have done, of course, is gone through some classic and great works of media and added dragons – because dragons are awesome. NerdsAndNomsense-Dragonpsd_jordan-1

Dear Mr. Vernon, we accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole Saturday in detention for whatever it was we did wrong (which might have been burning down the locker room with fire that we breathed from our mouths…) . But we think you’re crazy to make an essay telling you who we think we are. You see us as you want to see us – in the simplest terms, in the most convenient definitions, as fictional. But what we found out is that each one of us is a brain… …and an athlete……and a basket case… …a princess… …and a criminal… and a dragon. Does that answer your question? Sincerely yours, the Breakfast Club.

Can you imagine how much cooler the Breakfast Club would have been if they were being chased through the halls of the school by a dragon instead of a principle. Principles can’t breathe fire!

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“Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it. Like, how are all these people missing this giant dragon we brought in to The Art Institute of Chicago? IT’S A GINAT DRAGON! People are ridiculous.”

Ferris is the ultimate “too cool to care” high school dude. You know what he would care about? Dragons. Everyone cares about dragons.

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“When you can’t run, you crawl. And when you can’t crawl, when you can’t do that … ” “You find a kind dragon that will let you fly on it’s back.”

Firefly, may it rest in peace, was know for it’s awesome science fiction/ western mix. If we’re already mixing things, why not throw in some fantasy as well. Capt’in tight pants on a dragon? You know you’d rewind and watch it six times.

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“Everything you see exists together in a delicate balance. As king, you need to understand that balance, and respect all the creatures from the crawling ant to the flying dragon. Because if you don’t respect the dragon it will eat all of us. Look at that thing. It’s terrifying.”

The Lion King is animated Hamlet with talking animals, so cautiously throwing things isn’t really going to make the concept weirder. So DRAGONS. Add some dragons. I wanna watch Scar get eaten by a dragon. How satisfying would that be?

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“Live from Studio 6H! I’m Amy Poehler” “I’m Jimmy Fallon” “I’m Seth Myers” I’m Tina Fey! And this is a dragon! How did he get in here? Is one of the guys from Harry Potter hosting again? They know they aren’t supposed to bring their own props…”

SNL is the king of cultural parody and commentary. And what’s more cultural then dragons? Most things, if we’re being honest. But dragons are FUN and EXCITING and think about how funny it would be to watch Kenan Thompson interact with one.

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So no one told you life was gonna be this way? ** Clap clap clap clap.** Your jobs a joke, you’re broke, no one warned you about the dragon that has taken up residence in the one coffee shop where you and all your friends inexplicably spend all your free timeeee!

Friends is a show about six friends living in New York, but it could be a show about six friends living in New York with a dragon. Think about all the potential plot lines about annoyed landlords or trying to find enough greenery to keep it fed, without leaving the city. Think about a dragon working at a coffee shop. Have you ever thought of anything so delightful in a terrifying way?

You’re welcome.

So that’s how you improve shows. More dragons. More dragons, and possibly less dying.  Now someone hire me to write for TV.

 

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