My reading time over the past year has largely been spent on George R.R. Martin’s A Song of Ice and Fire series. What a wild ride. If you haven’t caught up with the books but have watched Game of Thrones, and you’ve been shocked and stunned and sent on an emotional roller coaster ride, I have to say to you…just wait. Just wait until you see where things are headed….
I also strongly suggest you read the books! (There are five out right now entitled A Game of Thrones, A Clash of Kings, A Storm of Swords, A Feast for Crows, and A Dance with Dragons, and two more on the way.) I find that high fantasy novels tend to be a bit dry, but I tore through these as fast a person can tear through 5000+ pages of novel. One of the virtues of the novels is that it’s A LOT easier to remember characters’ names, families, positions, and relationships when you see them in print. They eliminate a lot of the “Who’s that? Is that one of Boromir’s kids?” stuff that characterizes discussions of the show. Another great thing about them is that they delve much deeper into the heraldry and qualities of the various noble families, and this got me thinking about Hogwarts. The virtues of the great houses of Westeros function a lot like the qualities of each Hogwarts house. They’re kind of a rough guide to the sort of people you might find in each category. Therefore, I thought it might be an interesting exercise to “sort” the great Westeros families into Hogwarts houses.
Now we all know that this isn’t how sorting works. It’s done on an individual basis, but there are more characters in this series than there are grains of sand on a beach, so I needed to make this doable. Also, alas, I am not the sorting hat. I am neither magical nor an article of clothing, and I do not have the skill or the patience to compose a many-versed song about house attributes. The following is all conjecture and just for fun!
Enough preamble, here’s what I came up with:
House Stark = Gryffindor
If I’m sure of anything in this life, it’s that most of the Starks would be sorted into Gryffindor. House Stark is the one that takes Westerosi customs and the notion of honor most seriously, very much like the chivalrous nature of Gryffindors. Ned Stark would have made old Godric Gryffindor proud. The Starks are also able to stick it to the man (in this case, the Iron Throne) in as respectable a manner as possible, and knowing what those in power on the throne can do to ruin you politically, that certainly takes a dose of Gryffindor daring and nerve.
House Baratheon = Gryffindor
Placing the Baratheons in Gryffindor wasn’t as clear cut of a decision as it was for the Starks, but they seem to suit Gryffindor better than any other Hogwarts house. They are also a family who is prone to fight for their own glory and show off in battle. I know a battle isn’t exactly the same as the school quidditch championship or winning the House Cup, but the mentality is the same. As much as I love Rowling’s Gryffindors (and consider myself one), they do have a bit of a superiority complex.
House Targaryen = Slytherin
The Targaryens fit into that Slytherin pure-blood mentality. Slytherin is full of inbred families with a heightened sense of their own importance. Salazar and his descendants could talk to snakes, Aegon the Conquerer and his offspring have a thing with dragons. This was an easy one.
House Tully = Hufflepuff
Second only to the Starks (and maybe the Martells?) in their devotion to honor, justice, and loyalty, the Tullys are prime Hufflepuff candidates. With the exception of Catelyn Tully’s marriage to Ned Stark forming an alliance between both houses, the Tully’s don’t have any particularly strong political ties with their fellow Westerosi families. They are just doing their best to keep the Riverlands safe and prosperous and to do the right thing when it’s required of them.
House Greyjoy = Durmstrang
I don’t think the Greyjoys line up nicely with any of the Hogwarts houses, so I’m shipping them (they’ll like that) off to Durmstrang. They should be able to thrive in the harsh weather conditions up there. They live by the iron price after all.
House Lannister = Slytherin
What could be more Slytherin than dangerous amounts of ambition, an absurd quantity of family pride, the cunning manipulation of politics, and an extreme distrust of outsiders?
House Arryn = Ravenclaw
We don’t know much about the Arryns beyond the fact that that little boy (Robin on the show, Robert in the books) is WAY too old for breastfeeding, but given that their sigil is a falcon (that’s similar-ish to an eagle, right?) I’m going to stick the Arryns in Ravenclaw.
House Martell = Ravenclaw
The Martells are the wiliest bunch in all of Westeros (the Lannisters, Tyrells, and Greyjoys all think that title should go to them, but it definitely belongs to the Martells). They haven’t made their appearance on the show yet, so to avoid spoilers I am obliged to say no more, but when you meet them I think you will agree that they have an air of Ravenclaw about them. They’re the kind of philosophical people who could answer the riddles correctly and gain access to the Ravenclaw common room.
House Tyrell = Beauxbatons
With the sharpness of the Ravenclaws, the ambition of the Slytherins, and the loyalty (at least to their own family) of the Hufflepuffs, I couldn’t decide which house suited them best, but I think they might do well at Beauxbatons. They seem to have the same kind of snobbery about them that the Beauxbatons students exhibited upon their first arrival at Hogwarts, and they hold themselves to a standard of excellence that Madame Maxime would approve of.