I never learned how to put on makeup like a real human being. I kind of rub at my eyes awkwardly with colors until I look vaguely like a raccoon, take half of that off, shrug in the mirror admitting defeat and go about my day. It’s a tested and true strategy.
Makeup often gets an unfair flak. While I, of course, think that makeup should never be a thing people feel forced to wear, I think it can be fun sometimes. Also there is the added advantage of the fact that it helps me look a little bit less like I have the plague. I’m a fan of not looking like I have the plague.
Like 10 months out of the year I’m so pale that ghosts would be jealous. I get sunburns in the winter and wear SPF infused lip balm 24/7, 365. The other two months I spend largely outdoors working at a summer camp, so I transform from deathly pale to mildly worrying pale.
One side effect of this extreme paleness is my blonde eyelashes. Ok, I’m just going to brag for a second- I have amazing eyelashes. They’re long and thick and really gorgeous. The only issue is that they are basically translucent.
So that’s where makeup comes in!
Now I’m not going to pretend like I’m some kind of makeup wiz. I know like three tricks and I go through more makeup remove and cotton pads putting makeup on then I do taking it off. But I know a couple of things! And I’m happy to share my tricks with you.
First off, ignore all the fashion magazines you read at the dentist- it’s not a sin to put some eyeliner under your eyes. I don’t know why people are so afraid of the under eye, but I know based on much too much experience that a little liner then can change a look of “I just studied for 14 hours and haven’t eaten anything that wasn’t from a vending machine in recent memory” to “I look vaguely tired, but mostly like an actual person!” It could be my super paleness talking, but under eye liner helps create some shape, so the eye doesn’t just blend in with the rest of the face.
I’ve recently become a little bit obsessed with colored eyeliner. It’s a subtle and fun way to add some pop to your makeup, without being overwhelming. If, like me, you’re a bargain makeup shopper, I’d recommend the Covergirl liquline blast eyeliners. I have them in blue, brown, and silver. They go on smooth, last for a really long time, and smudge in a way that I love.
If I could only have one makeup product for the rest of my life, it would be mascara. Mascara turns boring in to bold, with the simple swipe of a goo covered wand, that for reasons I’m not quite sure of, always seems to look like a medieval torture device.
I never learned how to do mascara on lower lashes without looking like I somehow magically cried ants, so I tend to skip that. If you have an eyelash curler, it can real make your lashes seem longer. If not (or if you think eyelash curlers look creepy and you don’t want them near your face) feel free to skip the curling. I normally go for two coats of mascara; one when I’m first getting dressed and one more right before I head out the door.
I am by no means a makeup expert. But my main makeup tip is to experiment a little. Have some fun! After all, with the right remover it all washes off.