Unless you’ve been living under a rock for your entire life, especially the last few weeks, you probably have heard about a certain new, celebrity baby being brought into this world. Yes folks, I’m talking about His Royal Highness Prince George of Cambridge, among other recent “celebrity-babies.”
Sure, who doesn’t love babies (other than the 9% of the world’s population who don’t)? They’re cute, needy and if you put baby powder on their butts right before they fart it will look absolutely hilarious. They bring a sort of innocence to the world since they’re brand-spanking new. They even have that new baby smell… but why are celebrity babies such a big deal?
The “Baby Watch,” as it was termed from various news stations, had frequent updates about the Duchess of Cambridge even before she went into labor. (My favorite was the craze around her maternity clothing choices.) There was a sea of reporters, photographers, bloggers, and just random spectators camped outside St. Mary’s Hospital just waiting for a glimpse of news from the doctors and royal family. It was kinda ridiculous, if you ask me. Did you know that there is even a drinking game that went along with the Royal Baby (click here and replay your Baby Watch coverage from the TiVo)? The coverage was wide scale. I have friends who work at places where the lobby has TVs to keep clients busy while they wait and it was playing nothing but “Baby Watch” at least up until a few days ago. Mostly because this seemed to be the only thing on the television. Never mind more important things that should be covered… like earthquakes, riots, and COMIC CON! Oh priorities!
There are approximately 370,000 babies born every day worldwide.
Anyways, my point is this: There are approximately 370,000 babies born every day worldwide! Many of these newborns are destined to become cancer-curing scientists, world leaders, infamous criminals, etc.. yet nothing is ever said about them until they’re grown or unless something terrible happens to them. Some of the most famous people in the world have come out of the woodwork being completely unknown to known almost over night.
I’m not sure what all the celebrity baby craze is all about. I realize that it’s a pleasant distraction from all of the gloom and doom that occurs in the world every day, but dang. I’m sure there are those of you out there who could ‘take me to school‘ as to why paying attention to the latest celebrity crotch fruit is a big deal.. but I just don’t get it. There are far more awesome things going on in the world (at least far more events that don’t get enough coverage) like how they’re starting to cure cancer with an H.I.V. mutation, how the NSA is trying to be extra sneaky, or how people can find love in the least-stereotypical of places.
Back to the Royal Baby, since I think I should address the glaring elephant in the room. I realize that one day several years from now little Prince George will grow up to be crowned King George – if the monarchy hasn’t succumbed to a complete democracy by then- and I hope that he does as much good as his Great-Great-Grandfather did. But until then, I hope he can have a normal life, or at least as normal as a life can be if you’re royalty.
Maybe I’m just a weird-o who’s got their priorities mixed up… never-mind the fact that I’m right in the “age-group” and gender to be enthralled with baby fever – so I should be right there on the bandwagon with this baby craze, right? Seriously, every time I log onto Facebook it’s like somebody new is either preggo or just had their baby. And let’s not forget the fact that my husband and I are still “newlyweds” and everyone, no matter the family function, asks “So when are y’all gonna start havin’ babies?” Not kidding. And as an aside: yes, people still talk like that.
Babies are wonderful, miniature-sized humans and I will snuggle one every chance I get… but there is no reason to ask the entire internet “What should I name our baby?” You’re opening that child up for a whole lifetime of online and offline trolling. If you thought Blue Ivy and North West were ridiculous baby names let me show you some ones that top them. Plus there’s about a 75/25 split whether or not your famous baby will grow up and NOT have something crazy or psychotic wrong with them.
Just chillax! Step away from the limelight and cherish your newborn’s VERY SHORT TIME AT BEING A NEWBORN. Kids grow up fast, let them be kids while they still can. Our society is saturated in over-sharing, where everyone knows everyone else’s business and that social media almost controls our lives. Just take a break, put your phone down, stop recording your child’s every waking moment… and be with your child.