Amish White Bread

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Let’s talk bread, y’all.

Everyone knows about bread. You go to the store, you peruse the selection of seven million different types of bread, and you settle upon the one that pleases your palate the most. Which may or may not change from week to week for you like it does for me.

I have this neighbor. She’s been my neighbor for coming up on eleven years, and I consider her one of my best friends. The other day she sent several of my spawn back down to my house with slices of bread dotted with butter, but it was no ordinary bread. It was homemade bread. Dense, yeasty, amazingly delicious smelling homemade bread. One of the spawn made the mistake of leaving their slice of bread laying on the counter, so I stealthily snuck a bite to try it out…and then I tried one more bite…and then before I knew it I had eaten the whole slice. Sorry, kid!

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Long story short, of course I had to have the recipe. My darling neighbor gave me the recipe along with several packages of yeast and a new bag of flour since I had used most of mine up making an embarrassing amount of buttermilk biscuits.

This, my dearies, is the tale of the best bread in the WORLD. (that is NOT AN EXAGGERATION, ok?)

The Most Delicious White Bread You’ll Ever Put In Your Facehole

(a.k.a. Amish White Bread)

Serving size: 2 loaves

TIme: 2 hours 15 minutes (15 minutes active, 2 hours rising and baking)

Ingredients:

  • 2 cups warm water (110 degrees F)
  • 2/3 cup white sugar
  • 1 1/2 tablespoons active dry yeast
  • 1 1/2 teaspoons salt
  • 1/4 cup vegetable oil
  • 6 cups all-purpose flour

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First start with a large bowl. I know, I know…here’s this ubiquitous bowl size measurement again. All in all, this large bowl needs to be able to accommodate a small amount of liquid and six cups of flour, so take that into consideration when choosing your bowl. Dissolve the sugar in the warm water and then add the yeast. Let that sit until the mixture turns into a creamy, foamy looking substance.

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To this mixture add the salt and oil and stir that up and then get ready to add the flour, one cup at a time. I was a little perturbed by how this went for the first cup or two. I was sure I was doing it wrong because it looked gloopy and lumpy and just icky – fear not! It’s ok. Keep mixing the flour in and it’ll eventually stop looking so crazy. By the time you get to the sixth cup of flour, it might be hard to mix it all in, but you just need to persevere. It’ll mostly get mixed in there, and when you turn the mixture out on a floured surface (my trusty butcher block is my surface of choice) you’ll be able to knead that last bit of stubborn flour into the dough.

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Kneading – do it. A lot. Knead the dough like it’s that person in traffic that you’re so irritated with that you feel like you’re going to have a coronary because they don’t know how to use their blinker and they’ve cut you off four times and you begin to consider whether or not your insurance is good enough to just let them hit you so you can have the satisfaction of laughing in their face while you wait for a tow truck. Knead the dough and knead the dough and knead the dough and before you know it (I’d say a good solid three to four minutes) the dough will be all smooth and a little shiny and you’ll know your job is done. That is…until the next part of your job starts.

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Grab another large bowl (roughly the same size as the first one) and spray the entire inside surface of the bowl with cooking spray. Put your ball of dough in that bowl, then kind of swirl it around and turn it upside down so that the whole dough ball has a light coating of the cooking spray on it. My method of letting the dough rise is to pre-heat my oven to about 250 degrees and then turn it back off. It creates just enough warmth so as to encourage the dough to rise efficiently. So, cover that bowl with a damp cloth, stick it in your oven and wait about an hour. It should rise to be about double it’s original size. When you take it out, punch it down (this part is incredibly amusing to me) and knead it for a few minutes again on that floured surface, and then cut the dough in half and shape the halves into loaves and put them into two extremely well oiled loaf pans. Let those rise again for about 30 minutes (the oven won’t need to be reheated for this). Once it’s done rising, take it out of the oven, turn the oven back on to 350 degrees, and when it’s heated back up put the loaf pans in and let them bake for around 30 minutes. I say around 30 minutes because my oven is persnickety and I always have to add about 5-10 minutes to my recipes, but if your oven is normal and cooperative it should bake for right at 30 minutes.

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When it’s done cooking, take it out of the oven and stare at it with the intensity of the burning sun until it’s cooled off enough that you can slice a piece of it off and slather it in butter and eat it. You will marvel at the fact that your mere mortal hands fashioned such a delectable creation. Seriously. It’s so good, y’all, and worth every minute of time it takes to make it.


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Amish White Bread
 
Prep time
Cook time
Total time
 
This recipe makes 2 standard size loaves
Author:
Recipe type: Bread
Serves: 2 loaves
Ingredients
  • 2 cups warm water (110 degrees F)
  • ⅔ cup white sugar
  • 1½ tablespoons active dry yeast
  • 1½ teaspoons salt
  • ¼ cup vegetable oil
  • 6 cups all-purpose flour
Instructions
  1. Dissolve sugar in warm water and add yeast. Let mixture sit until it develops a foamy looking surface.
  2. Mix salt and oil into yeast mixture.
  3. Add flour one cup at a time.
  4. Turn mixture on floured surface and knead until smooth (around 3-4 minutes of kneading)
  5. Place into well oiled bowl, turning to coat all surfaces of the dough. Cover with damp cloth and allow to rise until doubled in size, or about one hour.
  6. Punch dough down and knead on floured surface for two minutes.
  7. Divide dough into two equal parts and place into two well oiled loaf pans.
  8. Allow dough to rise again for 30 minutes.
  9. Bake at 350 degrees for 30 minutes.
  10. Cool slightly, try not to devour in one sitting, and enjoy!
 

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